Wow Capt!! I know this might sound a bit off the wall, but reading your story...hearing the fight in your words and strength of your spirit made me realize I was "giving up" and not "living it up" like I used to. Capt--you got me out of bed and I owe you a giant hug & a Corona when I hope we meet in Belize!
I am now officially out of my own personal 1 woman pity party and going to do as you said and I quote "never stop living the dream"! Your right. Boy did that hit a nerve--tears just ran down my cheeks when I read that last sentence of yours. My dream has always been to live in Belize. 25 yrs ago, I was 3 wks out from leaving w/a sm group of friends but found out I was pregnant w/my first daughter & couldn't go. But I never forgot my dream. Both girls have left the nest now & are doing great.
Last March, I suddenly had a serious cancer scare. My marriage was falling apart & had been for the prev. 6 mo. Even that was out of the blue. His tech job & stress was changing him into a different person. I became his emotional punching bag. It didn't help that I was loving my 40's and though only 10 yrs my sr., he acted like a mean, bitter, crotchedy old man. To help save our marriage, I sold a precious heirloom to surpise him on a cruise last Dec. for his BD which incl. Belize (that was for me). It was a disaster, but my day in Belize was heaven! I just left him @ the bar & walked around-loving every minute of it. I wanted to run off & hide so I would miss the boat back & have to stay...
Anyway, things got worse in Jan., even the marriage counselor asked him to take an anger mgmt course voluntarily. He did. It pissed him off. In March, I found out I had 4 nasty Uterine cysts. It pissed him off that I had no energy & as he said, "wasn't pulling my weight". I went thru all the "junk", and he took up Tai Chi to help cope as he said.
I even tried to help HIM thru it! In early June, I got the ok for a hysterectomy before it spread & the couldn't be until Aug. 25th, which I did. Lord I was terrified!
Then the big sucker-puch. On June 21st, he filed for divorce & moved out the same day. I didn't even have a clue. The idiot couldn't even wait until after the surgery so that I'd have a little help w/the recovery!
W/the settlement, I agreed to allow him to buy my share of the house. I need the cash, it's not a whole lot, home value's are dwn in Austin due to the tech mkt. Problem is that the jerk insists that I be out within 90 days of the hysterectomy regardless what the outcome would have been. Not to mention I lose insurance after the divorce. That part he's agreed to put off until the end of Dec. for my last cancer checkup & to get all my MD appts out of the way. But I think it'll be easy enough to stretch staying int the house until the end of Jan.
So Capt. my surg. was a success--cancer free, for now & I plan for it to remain so. It's been 1 mo. to the day since surg. & I have finally dressed & left my bed after reading your msg. But maybe that long pity party wasn't all bad since I thought about the old Terri Lynn, the long lost adventurous me, how I used to be so resilient, positive, always laughing, enjoying life. The glass wasn't just 1/2 full, there was no glass because I believed life was so full (if you wanted it to be) you just cupped you hands and drank from all the springs right in front of you! I wondered where did she go & I how could I find her?
Since Belize hadn't left my mind, I happened to pick up my laptop & out of the blue came across this msg board--Capt. YOUR MSG WAS AT THE TOP!! It hit me like a rock!! It was time for me to stop feeling sorry for myself and quit hiding under the covers! It was time to follow the dream I've had for 25 yrs! It was time, as we say in Texas, to "Cowboy Up"!
And why not? Looking back, I'm glad the SOB left; to be honest, I didn't even like him! My kids are grown, it's just me, the jerk even took my dog! (I think I'll get a cute little pup.) I don't have a ton of $$, but I'll figure that out. I think it's close enough after talking to a couple of RE agents.
Capt. & all of you reading this, (I loved reading your msgs) I know this sounds like I'm nuts to those I've told up here, but I don't see what there is to lose...why not live my dream?! It's boring & stressful living here--& expensive. Plus the people aren't as nice; easy going. No one even makes eye contact! Why not sell it all & head on down! I'd rather drive a golf cart than my nice car on a toll road any day!
Yes, I am scared as hell!! But, honestly, I'm a scared starting over alone anyway! W/tech jobs laying off, my friends have moved away & my family lives out of town. There's really not a lot for me here anyway.
So far I'm planning on making a 10-12 day pre-move trip in Nov. Then the big move in late Jan. My head is swimming!!! I would really, honest & for true welcome any & all advice! Thanks to all & God Bless you Capt. Your truly an inspiration & your courage is contagious! I know, I cought it--Ahh chewww!
Terri Lynn
AmbergrisCaye.com 
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