AmbergrisCaye.com Home Forums Talk Belize Chat Area Smiles for the day

Bing, what tipped you off?

George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to
hell.
While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for.
The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.

Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes.
When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is a
million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.

Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes.
When she is finished the devil informs her that the cost is 6
million dollars, so she writes him a check.

Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours.
When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is $5.00.

When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush
got to call the USA so cheaply.

The devil smiles and replies, "Since Obama took over, the country has
gone to hell, so it's a local call."

Of course we are, didn't you know we were the chsen ones.


(I am sure this will set a few of you off, and before it does let me remind you this is posted on the Smiles thread; it's a joke.)

Make that CHOSEN.

This joke is so old I remeber when it refernced Andrew Johnson and the price of a telegraph message. Nice to see a republican finally do some recycling.

Because that's where manatees live duh.

A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500. They did their thing, and, before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but he would have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment 'RENT FOR APARTMENT.'
On the way to the office, he regretted what he had done, realizing that the whole event had not been worth the price. So he had his secretary send a check for $250 and enclose the following typed note:

'Dear Madam: Enclosed find a check for $250 for rent of your apartment . I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the place, I was under the impression that: #1 - it had never been occupied; #2 - there was plenty of heat; and #3 - it was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home. However, I found out that: #1 - it had been previously occupied,
#2 - there wasn't any heat, and #3 - it was entirely too large.' Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check for $250 with the following note:



'Dear Sir: #1 - I cannot understand how you could expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely. #2 - As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to turn it on. #3 - Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please do not blame the management. So, Please send the rent in full or we will be forced to contact your present landlady... !!

Ha-Ha, yes, it is a joke!!!

WHEN My wife asked me,

"How many women have you slept with?"

I proudly replied,

"Only you, Darling, with all the

Others, I was awake."

Hospital Visiting Hours are 10 AM to 8 PM