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Years ago we were climbing to altitude in the twin otter at Perris Valley Skydiving. A guy in his late thirties was doing a first jump AFF. Not a tandem, but an instructor on each side to hold you stable and you wear your own gear.

This wanker brought his smokin' hot looking girlfriend to do a tandem and she was on the same flight.

The entire way up he was bragging about how much money he had made, where he traveled to, how he just bought a house in Beverly Hills and how he has tried everything adventerous in life and kicked it's ass. He even said if he liked jumping that he was athletic enough to become a world champion.

The group I was jumping with found this quite amusing and egged his conversation along. One jumper was a NASA astronaut, another the producer of the movie "point break", and Donnie Swayze, Patricks real ife skydiving bro'. Another was a world champion skydiver with over 12,000 skydives! All very humble folks and GREAT skydivers! We all found his arrogance very amusing.

As the plane leveled out and turned on jump run we all had enough of a good chuckle and slid the jump door open.

"Holy S@#t" the guy lets out! He looks down from 13,000 ft. and gets very red faced and scared looking. He finally shut up! We all chuckled to ourselves and climbed out and jumped.

Mr. "Been There Done That" completely chickened out! The plane did two go arounds while the two instructors calmed him...but he wouldn't jump! His girlfriend made her tandem jump, and one of the instructors with the wanker went out and flew along. The other instructor had to ride the plane down with Mr. Boyfriend.

When Ms. Cutie Pie landed she was ecstatic! She was hugging all of us and couldn't believe how much fun she just had.

Mr. Adventure was seen still shaken at the snack bar picnic table, mumbling about what a failure he was, and CRYING!!...the hottie was over hanging out with the instructors.

She ended up staying at the DZ that night to hang out with everyone...of course she started dating her tandem instructor! I think they ran off and got married.


No word on what ever happened to Mr. Cool. But I don't think he ever won a gold medal at the world skydiving meet!

Silk, you were SO very nice to give her your money back. I would not have done that at all. You are a cool cucumber!

Funny stuff. Thanks.

Great story, Reaper. Been there, seen it (lots of times), done it once or twice.

Reminds me of the girl who told me on the way up that she was afraid of heights and had never been in an aeroplane before. Yet here she was about to jump out by herself on a static line. Now THAT's guts!!

Good story,reaper

YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE WORST CUSTOMERS UNTIL YOU'VE MANAGED THE LINGERIE DEPARTMENT IN A LARGE DEPARTMENT STORE. THE THINGS I'VE SEEN ARE SO GROSS I CAN'T EVEN PRINT ON THIS MESSAGE BOARD. WOMEN ARE PIGS IN THE DRESSING ROOMS.

I understand it is upsetting but please don't yell.

Was I yelling? I'll try to use my inside voice from now on. LOL Luckily I don't have to deal with that any more.

Inside voice,

hehe- I worked with a waiter that would run out the back door of the restaurant and pelt yer car with eggs if you left him a bad tip.....