AmbergrisCaye.com Home Forums Talk Belize Chat Area Joke Thread

I have the video.

I know who shot it

Wow look at the picture of the perfectly formed teensy tiny woman holding the cat.

There are just sooooooo many things I want to say about that picture...

DON'T SAY IT !!

I know ernie... I won't.... but my mind is so far down in the gutter right now ... it'll never climb out. laugh

One fall day Denny was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking in single file.

Intrigued, Denny went up to the man following the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse.

"My wife," the man replied.

"I'm sorry," said Denny. "What happened to her?"

"My dog bit her and she died."

Denny then asked the man who was in the second hearse. The man replied, "My mother-in-law. My dog bit her and she died as well."

Denny thought about this for a while. He finally asked the man, "Can I borrow your dog?"

To which the man replied, "Get in line."

A new young monk named Brother Denny arrives at the San Pedro monastery. He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.

He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript.

So, the new monk goes to the head abbot, Father Ernie, to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up. In fact, that error would be continued in all subsequent copies.

The head abbot replies, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries but you make a good point, my son."

So, Father Ernie goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscript is held in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years.

Hours go by, and nobody sees the old abbot. So, Brother Denny gets worried and goes downstairs to look for the elder monk. He sees him banging his head against the floor. His forehead is all bloody and bruised, and he is crying, uncontrollably.

Brother Denny asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father?"

With a choking voice, Father Ernie replies, "The word is "celebrate".

fdlol!!!! Ha Ha Ha! Great rib tickler for this Friday morning! Ha Ha Ha.......

Contemporary Latin Phrases

"Domino vobiscum." (The pizza guy is here)

"Auda similarum ad seattles." (They all sound just like Pearl Jam)

"Sharpei diem." (Seize the wrinkled dog)

"Nucleo predicus dispella conducticus." (Remove foil before microwaving)

"Bodicus mutilatimus, unemploymi ad infinitum." (Better take the nose ring out before the job interview)

"Minutus cantorum, minutus balorum, minutus carborata descendum pantorum." (A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants)

"Motorolus interruptus." (Hold on, I'm going into a tunnel)

"Veni, vidi, Pesci." (I came, I saw, I moidered da bum)

"Revelare Pecunia!" (Show Me The Money!)

"Ignoramus microsoftis multa pecunia dat." (Yeah, where DO I want to go today??)

"Sic semper tyrannus." (Your dinosaur is ill)

"No Quid Pro Quo." (I'm Sorry, We're All Out of Quid)

"Nunc Tutus Exitus Computarus." (It's Now Safe To Turn Off Your Computer)

"Et tu, pluribus unum?" (The government just stabbed me in the back!)

and for those who found San Pedro....

"Veni, Vidi, Velcro" (I came; I saw; I stuck around)