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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 19
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Hi Pedro 2 Now in Huntsville ,Al at the space center A tour guide told us the chicken crossed the road to show the opossum it could be done {=_=}
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 991
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Menopause Jewelry
My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.
We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big [#%!] red mark on his forehead.
Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond. Dumb ass.
Live so that when you arise in the A.M, Satan shudders & says.. 'Oh sh t..she's awake!'
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 163
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A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Christmas stamps?" The clerk says, "What denomination?" The blonde says, "God help us. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists."
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 19
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Ok it's offical I'm glad my hair is now gray <:_:> How funny !!
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 316
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THE POTATO
Well, Girl Potato and Boy Potato
had eyes for each other,
and finally they got married,
and had a little sweet potato,
which they called 'Yam.'
Of course, they wanted the best for Yam.
When it was time,
they told her about the facts of life.
They warned her about going out
and getting half-baked,
so she wouldn't get accidentally mashed,
and get a bad name for herself like
'Hot Potato,'
and end up with a bunch of Tater Tots.
Yam said not to worry,
no Spud would get her into
the sack and make a rotten potato out of her!
But on the other hand
she wouldn't stay home
and become a Couch Potato either.
She would get plenty of exercise
so as not to be skinny
like her Shoestring cousins.
When she went off to Europe ,
Mr. and Mrs. Potato told Yam
to watch out for the hard-boiled guys from Ireland.
And the greasy guys from France
called the French Fries.
And when she went out west,
to watch out for the Indians
so she wouldn't get scalloped.
Yam said she would stay on
the straight and narrow and wouldn't associate
with those high class Yukon Golds,
or the ones from the other side of the tracks
who advertise their trade
on all the trucks that say,
'Frito Lay.'
Mr. and Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U.
(that's Potato University)
so that when she graduated
she'd really be in the Chips.
But in spite of all they did for her,
one-day Yam came home and announced
she was going to marry Tom Brokaw.
Tom Brokaw!
Mr. and Mrs. Potato were very upset.
They told Yam she couldn't
possibly marry Tom Brokaw
because he's just.......
Are you ready for this?
Are you sure?
* * * * * * *
OK! Here it is!
* * * * * * * * * * *
A COMMON TATER
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- See AOL's
Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love Truly, Laugh uncontrollably.
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 316
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I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes. We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time. When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, 'What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life? Knowing my dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; knowing he would have a good one. And in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response, 'Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.'
Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love Truly, Laugh uncontrollably.
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 3,955
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I think I heard that one somewhere before, hmmm. No less funny though
I will have a Belikin -- put it on klcman's tab.
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Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 8,868
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 128
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love the old man eating out joke. always funny!
do I have to get shots to go there? 8o)
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pedro2
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pedro2
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It's been law in England since Oliver Cromwell introduced it that mince pies cannot be eaten on Christmas Day. The law has never been repealed and is still on the books, and probably (given the origins of Belizean law) applies here as well. So, BE CAREFUL!
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