AmbergrisCaye.com Home Forums Talk Belize Chat Area Smiles for the day

"And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier."

Here is a joke:

In 1933 FDR executed a plan that included a 91% top tax rate. The money from the roaring twenties had all been concentrated in the hands of the wealthy and the middle class was being wiped out by the great depression. Realizing the negative implications of a two class society, FDR plan was basically to bolster the middle class by taking money from the rich.

Alarmed by Roosevelt's plan to redistribute wealth from the rich to the poor, a group of millionaire businessmen, led by the Du Pont and J.P. Morgan empires, made plans to overthrow Roosevelt with a military coup and install a fascist government modeled after Mussolini's regime in Italy. The businessmen tried to recruit General Smedley Butler, promising him an army of 500,000, unlimited financial backing and generous media spin control. The plot was foiled when Butler reports it to Congress. A short investigation was made and no charges were pressed.

Now that is funny...

Boudreaux left the bayou and moved to Arkansas where he bought him a donkey from an old farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day, the farmer drove up and said "I'm sorry, but I have some bad news. he donkey died last night."
" Well, den" said Boudreaux, " jus' give my money back, yeah. "
"I can't do that Sir, I went and spent it already."
"OK, den. Jus' unload dat donkey."
"What are you gonna do with him"
"I'm gon-to raffle him off."
"You can't raffle a dead donkey, you dumb Cajun!"
"Well dats where you wrong!! You wait you an' you learn how smart we Cajuns are!"
A month later the farmer ran into the Cajun and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?"
"I raffled dat donkey off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made $998."
"Didn't anyone complain?"
"Just dat guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back."

Seems topical:-

If you are choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.

2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the shower.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Daily Thought: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES. NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

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DIVORCE VS. MURDER


A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to
the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to
buy some cyanide."

The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I
can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law!
I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad
things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband
in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, that's
different. Y ou didn't tell me you had a p

Last word there: prescription

Yet another unselfish act of heroism performed by a man wearing Anchors:

A young Marine Lieutenant decides to try horseback riding, even though he has had no lessons or prior experience. He mounts the horse, unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into action. As it gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, the LT. begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, he grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot get a firm grip. He tries to throw his arms around the horse's neck, but he slides down the side
of the horse anyway!

The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its' slipping rider. Finally, losing his frail grip, the LT attempts to leap away from the horse and throw himself to safety. Unfortunately, his foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and he is now at the
mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as his head is struck against the ground over and over and over. As his head is battered against the ground and he is mere moments away from unconsciousness, to his great fortune, a Senior Chief shopping at Wal-Mart, sees him and unplugs the horse.

That aint funny, AZ

Heh, heh...

a sailor was flying home for leave and he was seated in the isle with 2 marines also going home for leave.
the sailor kicks back, removes his shoes, and relaxes.
soon the sailor has to pee. he asks the marines to let him out since he was in the window seat.
the marines grumble but stand up and let him out, if he will bring them back a couple cokes.
as the sailor is gone, marines being marines, each spit in the sailors shoes.
this whole ordeal takes place 3 more times during the long flight. each time the marines spit in the sailors shoes.
when they land at their destination, the sailor slips into his shoes. he knows something is wrong right away.
"you know,, after years and years of this going on between navy and marines, you would think it would stop"
"what do you mean?" asks a marine.
"you know,, you spitting in my shoes when i was gone,, me peeing in your cokes,, that stuff."