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THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN - THE REBUTTAL

The man version of "The Rules"
Women have their version of "The Rules", at last a guy has taken the time to write down the man version.



These are our rules. Please note, these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after seven days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight. But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

I agree totally, especially with #1.

This has been around awhile, and women laugh at it, but...... (they just don't get it). HE he he....

At 5 minutes and 6 seconds after 4 am, on the 8th of July,
this year the time and date will be:
04:05:06 07-08-09
This will not happen again until the year 3009.

Agreed, but what about six minutes and seven seconds past five on August ninth of next year, and so on until ten minutes and eleven seconds after 9am on December 13, 2014

Then it is quite a wait until 2 minutes and 3 seconds after 1am on April 5th 3006!

Pug, Pug, Pug, Most of us don't have the math prowess that you have and this simple progression of numbers is enough to humor the majority of us earthlings. Yours truely, Champion (Paladin)

tomorrow Pug will still be Pug . .and the day after that . . and the day after that . .and so on. Amazing, huh?

Very amazing and comforting to know that he will be around a while to inject wit and and speculation for all of us to ponder.
I truely love reading his posts and ponder life with different perspectives. Thanks Pug!

A woman asks her husband, "Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit and coffee?"

He declined. "Thanks for asking, but I'm not hungry right now. It's this Viagra," he says. "It's really taken the edge off my appetite."

At lunchtime she asked him if he would like something . . . . . "a bowl of soup, homemade muffins or a cheese sandwich?"

He declined. "The Viagra," he says, "really trashes my desire for food."

Come dinnertime, she asked if he wants anything to eat. "Would you like a juicy rib eye steak and scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?"

He declined again . "No," he says, "it's got to be the Viagra. I'm still not hungry."

"Well," she said, "Would you mind letting me up? I'm starving."

A Redneck walked into a bank in New York City and asked for the loan officer. He told the loan officer that he was going to Bakersfield on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000 and that he was not a depositor of the bank.

The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security for the loan, so the Redneck handed over the keys to a new Ferrari. The car was parked on the street in front of the bank. The Redneck produced the title and everything checked out. The loan officer agreed to hold the car as collateral for the loan and apologized for having to charge 12% interest.

Later, the bank's president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the Redneck from the south for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral for a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank's private underground garage and parked it.

Two weeks later, the Redneck returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest of $23.07. The loan officer said, 'Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?'

The Redneck replied, 'Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $23.07 and expect it to be there when I return?'