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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 593
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This one is for Hon smile


Newfie Drunk....



You just gotta love it!!!!



Recently, during a routine patrol, an RCMP patrolman parked down the street outside a Legion Hall just off the main road in Gander NL..

After last call, the officer observed a man leaving the Legion Hall. The gentleman was so intoxicated that he could barely walk. He then stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car, which he fell into.

He sat there for a few minutes and then threw a hook and line out the window and seemed to be trying to catch a fish.. A number of other patrons paid no attention to this crazy drunk as they left the bar and drove off.

Finally, the drunk started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine, dry summer night) flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn, and switched on the headlights.

He then pulled in the hook and line and moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patron vehicles left. At last, the parking lot was empty; he pulled out of the parking lot and started to drive slowly down the road.

The officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the man over.. He performed a breathalyzer test on the gentleman who cooperated fully, and to his amazement the breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having consumed any alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said, 'I'll have to ask you to accompany me to Headquarters..
This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it," said the truly proud Newfie,



"Tonight I'm the designated decoy."










Joined: May 2007
Posts: 526
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Originally Posted by PalapaBob
this is funnier when told in canadian............


That Was from all Different Languages from around the world ,
Just American is Not a language wink

See Below ::

GUESS WHICH ONE.......

Even if you aren't a sports fan this is very interesting!

? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?


36 have been accused of spousal abuse

7 have been arrested for fraud

19 have been accused of writing bad checks

117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses

3 have done time for assault

71 repeat 71

Cannot get a credit card due to bad credit

14 have been arrested on drug-related charges

8 have been arrested for shoplifting

21 currently are defendants in lawsuits,

And

84 have been arrested for drunk driving

In the last year


Can You guess which organization this is?

NBA Or NFL?


Give up yet?
Scroll down,



.
.
.
.
.
.
.


Neither,
it's the 535 members of the
United States Congress

The same group of Idiots that crank out
Hundreds of new laws each year
Designed to keep the rest of us in line.


Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,206
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It's a sad state of affairs

Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 10,850
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It is sad, but im afraied its also true

Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 269
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I started typing a comment, but remembered, this is a joke thread. I bet we are all laughing at that.

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,828
Hon Offline
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Originally Posted by gailtor
This one is for Hon smile


...great way to start the day Gailtor smile


Newfoundlanders are the only people in heaven who want to go home.
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 526
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Originally Posted by crockhunter
I started typing a comment, but remembered, this is a joke thread. I bet we are all laughing at that.


Yes Sad it is , our Premier got pissed in Hawaii and drove, Never heard anymore than that , Cuz our taxes I'm sure kept that quite.

I got busted in Hawaii for having a smoke on the beach (Cig type) , receive a smoking citation at 11pm, 23:00 hrs for walking in a public area with a smoke , Cops said they saw my red glow walking toward them,I didn't throw the butts away because next day some kids will be on the beach, and thats how they busted me,No smoking but on the street in Hawaii and that is the ashtray there till it rains, what a mess. I NO LONGER SMOKE ,, No ID on me , but Canadian and gave they the SIN / SS# they asked for. Went in next day to court house to pay the fine , say sorry , I'm a Bad tourist , WAS told that the citation is a criminal affair and jail sentencing or court!!! Got home and had to deal with it,,,30 e-mails , court stuff back and forth & 600.00 bucks later . Smoking budget gone. & no more quickies on the beach either ! (That was a dream from the 60's)

Now it's Europe or Elsewhere while I Continue to observe the great unwinding....south.

Yes Joke thread , AND I HAVE THE PAPER WORK , hanging to show folks !!! Of Course there is BC BUD everywhere down there and they asked me if i wanted to buy some , 60 Minus wink and I'm sure my neighbours up here ( B.C. ) are some of the suppliers. I'll stick with 25.00 12 packs of beer.



ALL In Fun Folks.

Last edited by VT-CDN; 01/07/10 07:32 PM.

a lethal combination of smart dairyair and dumb dairyair .
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,972
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This is not a joke but read it anyway.


Congressional Reform Act of 2010


1. Term Limits: 12 years only, one of the possible options below.

A. Two Six year Senate terms
B. Six Two year House terms
C. One Six year Senate term and three Two Year House terms

Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, serve your term(s), then go home and back to work.



2. No Tenure / No Pension:

A congressman collects a salary while in office and receives no pay when they are out of office.

Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, serve your term(s), then go home and back to work.



3. Congress (past, present & future) participates in Social Security:

All funds in the Congressional retirement fund moves to the Social Security system immediately.



All future funds flow into the Social Security system, Congress participates with the American people.

Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, server your term(s), then go home and back to work.



4. Congress can purchase their own retirement plan just as all Americans.

Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, serve your term(s), then go home and back to work.



5. Congress will no longer vote themselves a pay raise. Congressional pay will rise by the lower of CPI or 3%.

Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, serve your term(s), then go home and back to work.


6. Congress looses their current health care system and participates in the same health care system as the American people.

Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, serve your term(s), then go home and back to work.



7. Congress must equally abide by all laws they impose on the American people.

Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, serve your term(s), then go home and back to work.





8. All contracts with past and present congressmen are void effective 1/1/2011.

The American people did not make this contract with congressmen, congressmen made all these contracts for themselves.

Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, serve your term(s), then go home and back to work


Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 8,868
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Why is this posted here??????????????????????
BOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,972
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Don't want to get a bad vibe about US Chat.


Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol
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