AmbergrisCaye.com Home Forums Talk Belize Chat Area Smiles for the day

You sure it was the Burger ?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FPb7zdKJ-Dw

Besides , Micky-Dees is not Burgers, it's add hormones so you don't look skinny going through double wide doors at Wally-World (Wallmart)

All in Funnin Folks

God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found Him
resting on the seventh day.

He inquired, "Where have you been?"

God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds,
"Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth
and it's going to be a place to test balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, "I'm still confused."

God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, northern Europe
will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor.

Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black
people. Balance in all things."

God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be
extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel ,impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said,
"What's that one?"

"That's the Province of British Columbia , the most glorious place on earth.
There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills,

And beaches. The people from the British Columbia are going to be handsome, modest,
intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be
extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and
producers of good things."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance,
God? You said there would be balance.."

God smiled, "There's Ottawa! Wait till you see the idiots I put there."

Two Drunks

Two buddies, Bob and Phil, are getting very drunk at a bar when suddenly Bob throws up all over himself.. 'Oh, no... Now my wife will kill me!'

Phil says, 'Don't worry, pal. Just tuck a twenty in your breast pocket and tell your wife that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty dollars for the dry cleaning bill.'

So they stay for another couple of hours and get even more drunk.

Eventually Bob stumbles home and his wife starts to give him a bad time. 'You reek of alcohol and you've puked all over yourself! My God, you're disgusting!'

Speaking very carefully so as not to slur his words, Bob says, 'Nowaitaminit, I can e'splain everythin. Itsh snot wha jewthink. I only had a cupla drrrinks. But thiss other guy got ssick on me...he had one too many and he juss koudin hold hizz liquor. He said he's was verrry sorry an' gave me twennie bucks for the cleaning bill!'

His wife looks in the breast pocket and says, 'But this is forty Bucks..'

Oh, yeah.. I almos' fergot, he shhhit in my pants, too

Denis study

In 1997, Harvard funded a study to see why the head of a penis was bigger than the rest of it.After one year and $180,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex..After the US published the study, Sweden decided to do their own. After $250,000.00, and 3 years of research, they concluded that the reason was to give the woman more pleasure during sex.Poland, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study. After 2 weeks and a cost of around $75.46, they concluded that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and hitting him in the forehead...

After the eighty-three year old lady finished her annual physical examination, the doctor said,

"You are in fine shape for your age, Mrs. Mallory, but tell me, do you still have intercourse?"


"Just a minute, I'll have to ask my husband," she said..

She stepped out into the crowded reception room and yelled out loud:

"Bob, do we still have intercourse?" And there was a hush .

You could hear a pin drop.


Bob answered impatiently, "If I told you once, Irma, I told

you a hundred times...What we have is...




Blue Cross!"

A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator.. At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Attorney General said. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.



As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'. When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, 'If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes.' White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent nor profound statement by the President; It is believed that another Nobel Prize will follow----

PLEASE I NEED YOUR HELP!!!!!

Does anyone know how to cancel a bid on E-Bay?
I put in a bid for a "Mickey Mouse Outfit",
and now it seems I am only six
minutes away from owning the Toronto Maple Leafs !!!!

Thats funny

A bloke walks into a Glasgow library and says to the prim librarian,

'Excuse me Miss, dey ye hiv ony books on suicide?'

To which she stops doing her tasks, looks at him over the top of her glasses and says,

'Fook off, ye'll no bring it back!'