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Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Later, her husband noticed her sitting in her car in the driveway with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. He became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she had been shot in the back of the head and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.


The husband called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head.

When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered.


Linda is blond, a Democrat and an Obama supporter, but that could all be a coincidence.

Now thats funny

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me.

I have a killer jigsaw puzzle,and I can't figure out how to get started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster.."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,

"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."

He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cold drink, and then, "he said with a deep sigh..........


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"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."

hahahahahahaha!

Two great white sharks, swimming in the ocean, spied survivors of a sunken ship. "Follow me, son." the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people.

"First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing." And they did."Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing." And they did.

"Now we eat everybody." And they did.

When they were both gorged, the son asked, "Dad, why didn't we just eat them all at first? Why did we swim around and around them?"

His wise father replied, "Because they taste better without the poop inside!"

A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the sex after death.

Their biggest fear was that there was no after-life at all.

After a long life together, the husband was the first to die.

True to his word, he made the first contact:
"Judy..........Judy"

"Is that you, George?"

"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."

"That's wonderful!? What's it like?"

"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course.

I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times.

Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens). Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to golf course again.

Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much-needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again"

"Oh, George..are you in Heaven?"

"No...........I'm a rabbit in Kansas .."

The Bitter Truth !

A man is watching a game of golf on TV. But he keeps switching channels to
a dirty movie featuring a lusty couple having raucous sex.

"I don't know whether to watch them or the game," he says to his wife.

"For Heaven's sake, watch them," his wife says. "You already know how to
play golf!"

Barnacle and Elbert are sittin in a boat when Barnacle sez, "Elbert why do divers fall backwards off a boat?" So Elbert replies, "Barnacle, if they fell forward, they'd still be on the boat."

:-)
I'm gona use that one!

OK! Barn and i went diving and found a great site so i put an X on the bottom of the boat so we could find it again . Barn said that was stupid we might not be in the same boat next time!