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Now that's funny!

Clover, you just HAVE TO GET YOUR SHOTS IN!!!!!!!!!!!

Obviously written by a democrat. Anyone else would have done it properly, "special AND republican". It's all in a point of view.

I didn't know you had to be a Republican to take 2 parking spots

A Republican would take two parking spots . .a Democrat would take one spot and use government money to hire someone to hold the other for another Democrat.

A Republican would just complain that we spend too much money on parking lots...and why can't we put a cricifix at the entrance?

A democrat won't drive into the parking lot unless he's convinced it was built by union labor

This guy was sitting at home alone when he heard a knock on the front door.
There were two sheriffs deputies there. He asked them if there was a problem?

One of the sheriffs asked if he was married and if he could see a picture of
his wife.

The guy says "sure " and shows him a picture of his wife.

The sheriff says, "I'm sorry sir, but it looks like your wife's been hit by
a truck."

The guy says, " I know, but she's got a great personality, and she ain't a
bad cook."

The History of Profiling.

The day it all started was March 6, 1836.

On that fateful day, Davy Crockett woke up and rose from his bunk on the main floor of the Alamo . He then walked up to the observation post along the west wall of the fort.

William B. Travis and Jim Bowie were already there, looking out over the top of the wall. These three great men gazed at the hordes of Mexicans moving toward them.

With a puzzled look on his face, Crockett turned to Bowie and said: "Jim, are we having some landscaping done today?"

An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world. So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to Orlando, thinking that he would start by working his way across the USA from South to North.

On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he
noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read '$10,000 per call'.
The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for. The priest replied that it was a
direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God.

The American thanked the priest and went along his way. Next
stop was in Atlanta . There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same looking golden telephone with the same sign under it.

He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Orlando
and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was. She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to
God..

'O.K., thank you,' said the American . He then travelled all across America, Europe, England, Japan, New Zealand. In every church
he saw the same looking golden telephone with the same '$US10,000 per call' sign under it.

The American decided to travel to Belize to see if Belizeans had the same phone. He arrived at the San Pedro in Belize and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same looking golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read '40 cents per call.'

The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign. 'Father, I've travelled all over the world and I've seen this same golden
telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in all of them price was $10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?'

The priest smiled and answered, 'You're in Belize now, son - "This is Heaven," so it's a local call'.

Love it Marty!!!!