AmbergrisCaye.com Home Forums Talk Belize Chat Area Smiles for the day

The taller one is Elbert.

Jan, Sue and Mary haven't seen each other since High School. They rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange to meet for lunch in a wine bar.

Jan arrives first, wearing beige Versace. She orders a bottle of Pinot Grigio.

Sue arrives shortly afterward, in gray Chanel. After the required ritualized kisses she joins Jan in a glass of wine.

Then Mary walks in, wearing a faded old tee-shirt, blue jeans and boots. She too shares the wine.

Jan explains that after leaving high school and graduating from Princeton in Classics, she met and married Timothy, with whom she has a beautiful daughter. Timothy is a partner in one of New York 's leading law firms. They live in a 4000 sq ft co-op on Fifth Avenue , where Susanna, the daughter, attends drama school. They have a second home in Phoenix.

Sue relates that she graduated from Harvard Med School and became a surgeon. Her husband, Clive, is a leading Wall Street investment banker. They live in Southampton on Long Island and have a second home in Naples , Florida.

Mary explains that she left school at 17 and ran off with her boyfriend, Jim. They run a tropical bird park in Colorado and grow their own vegetables. Jim can stand five parrots, side by side, on his penis.

Halfway down the third bottle of wine and several hours later, Jan blurts out that her husband is really a cashier at Wal-Mart. They live in a small apartment in Brooklyn and have a travel trailer parked at a nearby storage facility.

Sue, chastened and encouraged by her old friend's honesty, explains that she and Clive are both nurses' aides in a retirement home. They live in Jersey City and take vacation camping trips to Alabama.

Mary admits that the fifth parrot has to stand on one leg.

---

















What is a calorie?
Calories are the little bastards that get into your wardrobe at night and sew your clothes tighter.
MY CLOSET IS INFESTED WITH THE LITTLE SHITS.

For those of you who are not quite in this age range, keep this for reference !!Lovemaking Tips For Seniors

1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.
2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.
3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)
4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial you begin.
5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.
6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.
7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act..
8. Make all the noise you want....the neighbors are deaf, too.
9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!!
10.. Don't even think about trying it twice.

'OLD' IS WHEN.. Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.
Getting a little action' means you don't need to take a laxative today.
Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot..
An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.
You're not sure if these are facts or jokes. (I posted this in large type so you can read it).

This is not funny, but here it is anyway. Take it or leave it.

AUGUST 1st to Sept. 1st


Well over 50 yrs ago I knew a lady who would not buy Christmas gifts if they were made in China . Her daughter will recognize her in the following.

Did y'all see Diane Sawyer's special report? They removed ALL items from a typical, middle class family's home that were not made in the USA .

There was hardly anything left besides the kitchen sink. Literally. During the special the y showed truckloads of items - USA made - being brought in to replace everything and talked about how to find the se items and the difference in price etc..

It was interesting that Diane said if every American spent just $64 more than normal on USA made items this year, it would create something like
200,000 new jobs!

I WAS BUYING FOOD THE OTHER DAY AT WALMART and ON THE LABEL OF SOME PRODUCTS IT SAID 'FROM CHINA '

FOR EXAMPLE THE "OUR FAMILY" BRAND OF THE MANDARIN ORANGES SAYS RIGHT ON THE CAN 'FROM CHINA '

I WAS SHOCKED SO FOR A FEW MORE CENTS I BOUGHT THE LIBERTY GOLD BRAND OR THE DOLE SINCE IT'S FROM CALIF.

Are we Americans as dumb as we appear --- or --- is it that we just do not think. The Chinese, knowingly and intentionally, export inferior and even toxic products and dangerous toys and goods to be sold in American markets.

70% of Americans believe that the trading privileges afforded to the Chinese should be suspended.

Why do you need the government to suspend trading privileges? DO IT YOURSELF, AMERICA !!

Simply look on the bottom of every product you buy, and if it says 'Made in China ' or 'PRC' (and that now includes Hong Kong ), simply choose ano the product, or none at all. You will be amazed at how dependent you are on Chinese products, and you will be equally amazed at what you can do without.

Who needs plastic eggs to celebrate Easter? If you must have eggs, use real ones and benefit some American farmer. Easter is just an example. The point is do not wait for the government to act. Just go ahead and assume control on your own.

THINK ABOUT THIS: If 200 million Americans each refuse to buy just $20 of Chinese goods, that's a billion dollar trade imbalance resolved in our favor...fast!!

Most of the people who have been reading about this matter are planning on implementing this on Aug. 1st and continue it until Sept. 1st. That is only one month of trading losses, but it will hit the Chinese for 1/12th of the total, or 8%, of the ir American exports. Then the y might have to ask the mselves if the benefits of the ir arrogance and lawlessness were worth it.

Remember, August 1st to Sept. 1st !!!!!! START NOW.

Send this to everybody you know. Let's show them that we are Americans and NOBODY can take us for granted.

If we can't live without cheap Chinese goods for one month out of our lives, WE DESERVE WHAT WE GET!

In Belize you buy whatever is available

I checked into a hotel this last weekend. I told the girl I hoped the porn channel was disabled. She said "No, its just regular porn, you sicko"

bwahahahahahaha! Sharing....

I dont get it

Neither channel?