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HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Ya got me !

Champion - very very good - yes - I had to go back and reread it. Do men really get it the first time?

Hariette, if men dont get "it" the first time,they just look for another Blonde.

When I saw a charge on our PayPal account to "Leather Honey", I remember thinking to myself "Damn, there's life left in the old gal yet…." and I checked the calendar to see when the next Date Night was: one has to remember that at our age, the last thing we want to be doing is messing up a good meal with strenuous exercise (or laying there getting sweated on as my lovely bride seems to think of it).
Coupled with that are the logistics involved..Jane needs about an hour and a half to shower and shave, cinch things down, strap other things up and prefers fading natural light (I'm not sure if its gentler on her character lines or she just doesn't like seeing me butt neked?) whereas for me it's just the shower and shave and the 15 minutes of Halftime during football is a perfect window…
I got home yesterday, saw a bottle of Saddle Cleaner on the counter top and realized I had been the victim of of my own misplaced optimism, but I guess in the big picture, imagination is a lot safer than actual experimentation and far less likely to end in a visit to the emergency room or at minimum the Chiropractor.

It got me too!

Subject: Setting your password:





Sorry that password has expired- you must register a new one.
Did someone discover my old password and hack my computer?
No, but your password has expired- you must get a new one.
Why then do I need a new one as that one seems to be working
pretty good?
Well, you must get a new one as they automatically expire
every 30 days.
Can I use the old one and just re-register it?
No, you must get a new one.
I don't want a new one as that is one more thing for me to
remember.
Sorry, you must get a new one.
OK, roses.
Sorry you must use more letters.
OK, pretty roses
No good, you must use at least one numerical space.
OK, 1 pretty rose
Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces.
OK, 1prettyrose
Sorry, you must use additional spaces.
OK, 1fuckingprettyrose
Sorry, you must use at least one capital letter.
OK, 1FUCKINGprettyrose
Sorry, you cannot use more than one capital letter in a row.
OK, 1FUCKINGprettyroseshovedupyourassifyoudon'tgive
meaccessRightfuckingnow
Sorry, you cannot use that password as it is already being
used.

Exhaustipating!

A good looking man walked into an agent's office in Hollywood
and said, I want to be a movie star."
Tall, handsome, and with experience on Broadway, he had the
right credentials. The agent asked, "What's your name?"




The guy said, "My name is Penis van Lesbian."




The agent said, "Sir, I hate to tell you, but in order to get
into Hollywood, you are going to have to change your name."




"I will NOT change my name! The van Lesbian name is centuries
old, I will not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Not ever."





The agent said, "Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years...you will NEVER
go far in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian! I'm telling you, you
will HAVE TO change your name or I will not be able to
represent you."




"So be it! I guess we will not do business together," the guy said and he
left the agent's office.




FIVE YEARS LATER......The agent opens an envelope sent to his office. Inside
the envelope is a letter and a check for $50,000. The agent
is awe-struck, who would possibly send him $50,000? He reads the letter
enclosed...







Dear Sir,



Five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become an
actor in Hollywood ; you told me I needed to change my name.
Determined to make it with my God-given birth name, I refused.


You told me I would never make it in Hollywood with a name
like Penis van Lesbian. After I left your office, I thought about what you
said. I decided you were right. I had to change my name. I had too much
pride to return to your office, so I signed with another agent. I would never
have made it without changing my name, so the enclosed check is a token of
my appreciation.



Thank you for your advice.



Sincerely,



Dick van Dyke

courtesy of Diane...