Subject: New Virus


Bush Virus - Causes your computer to keep looking for =
viruses of mass destruction.=20

The John Kerry Virus - Stores data on both sides of the disk =
and causes little purple hearts to appear on screen.=20

The Clinton Virus - Gives you a permanent Hard Drive; with =
NO memory=20

The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer to keep counting =
and re-counting=20

The Bob Dole Virus - Makes a new hard drive out of an old =
floppy=20

The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your =
computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did=20

The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates some files, =
leaves, but will be back=20

The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes=20

The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 200 GB hard drive shrinks to =
100 GB, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 350 GB=20

The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer be inserted=20

The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your RAM, but your =
processor doesn't care=20

The Michael Jackson Virus - Only attacks minor files=20

The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your hard drive into a =
3.5 inch floppy ... then discards it through Windows=20