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Ain't that the truth!

Good job, Champion. The clunker math wasn't funny, but jhills response was hilarious.

Subject: Newfoundland Love Poem




A NEWFOUNDLAND LOVE POEM

(And who said Newfoundlanders weren't romantic?)



Of course I loves ya darling

You're a bloody top notch bird

And when I say yer gorgeous

I means every single word



So yer arse is on the big side

I don't mind a bit of flab

It means that when I'm ready

There's somethin there to grab



So yer belly isn't flat no more

I tell ya, I don't care

So long as when I cuddle ya

I can get my arms round dere



I'm tellin ya the truth now

I never tells ya lies

I think its very sexy

Dat you've got dimples on yer thighs



I swear on me grannies grave

From the moment that we met

I thought you was as good as

I was ever gonna get



No matter what you look like

I'll always love ya dear

Now shut up while the hockey's on

And get me a nudder beer.

Lets See if this O-fart has-it.






Dang , 30 mins of fooling , Im slow , T/G bra straps are a thing of the past

Morris Returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the Doctor has told him that he has only 24 hours to live.

Given the prognosis, Morris asks his wife for sex. Naturally, she agrees, so they make love.

About 6 hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, 'Honey, you know I now have only 18 hours to live.

Could we please do it one more time?'

Of course, the wife agrees, and they do it again.

Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes that he now has only 8 hours left.

He touches his wife's shoulder and asks,
'Honey, please... just one more time before I die.'

She says, 'Of course, dear,' and they make love for the third time.

After this session, the wife rolls over and falls asleep.

Morris, however, worried about his impending death, tosses and turns, until he's down to 4 more hours.

He taps his wife, who rouses.

'Honey, I have only 4 more hours....do you
think we could...'

At this point the wife sits up and says, 'Listen Morris, enough is enough. I have to get up in the morning..........you don't.'

One day a Frog was sitting by the side of a swiftly flowing stream when he saw a Scorpion approach….the Scorpion asked the Frog to give him a ride across the stream, and the Frog replied.. "If I do that, you will sting me"

"Of course I won't" said the Scorpion….. "If I did that we'd both die"

Reluctantly the Frog agreed, and halfway across the stream he felt the Scorpions sting…..

Before they both slipped beneath the water, the Frog asked why the Scorpion would do such a stupid thing?

I'm a Democrat, replied the Scorpion, I just can't help myself… its what I do



I may have got a little mixed up in some of the details, but I'm sure you get the picture!

A female Mountie pulled over a drunk Newfie fisherman driving home down a back road.

She said, ''You're under arrest..anything you say, can and will be held against you.''

''[#%!]!'' replied the Newfie.