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"I LOVE YOU" IN 10 LANGUAGES

English
I Love You

Spanish
Te Amo

French
Je T'aime

German
Ich Liebe Dich

Japanese
Ai Shite Imasu

Italian
Ti Amo

Chinese
Wo Ai Ni

Swedish
Jag Alskar Dig

Lithuanian
As Tave Meliu

Alabama, Arkansas, Oklahoma, Texas, Louisiana, South Carolina, Georgia, Tennessee, Florida, Mississippi , Kentucky, North Carolina, West Virginia, Virginia, Saskatchewan, Alberta
Nice **** (Boobies)

Get in the Truck.

Last edited by VT-CDN; 07/05/11 09:08 PM.

a lethal combination of smart dairyair and dumb dairyair .
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Posts: 2,972
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> RANCHER'S OUTLOOK & COMMON SENSE APPROACH TO LIFE..

> While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old rancher, who's hand was caught in the squeeze gate
> while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man.
> Eventually the topic got around to Obama and his role as our president.The
> old rancher said, 'Well, ya know, Obama is a 'Post Turtle.
> 'Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him, what a 'post
> turtle' was.
> The old rancher said, 'When you're driving down a country road and you come
> across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a 'post turtle.'
> The old rancher saw the puzzled look on the doctor's face so he continued to
> explain."You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up
> there, he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, he's elevated beyond
> his ability to function, and you just wonder what kind of dumb ass put him
> up there to begin with."


Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol
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Posts: 10,850
E
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E
grin

Joined: May 2007
Posts: 526
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My nookie days are over,
My pilot light is out.
What used to be my sex appeal,
Is now my water spout.
Time was when, on its own accord,
From my trousers it would spring.
But now I've got a full time job,
To find the f***in' thing
It used to be embarrassing,
The way it would behave.
For every single morning,
It would stand and watch me shave.
Now as old age approaches,
It sure gives me the blues.
To see it hang its little head,
And watch me tie my shoes!!


a lethal combination of smart dairyair and dumb dairyair .
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 526
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The most amazing stage magic ever - sawing a woman in half using clear see-through boxes:

http://www.flixxy.com/best-international-stage-magicians.htm

I''LL take the bottom half wink


a lethal combination of smart dairyair and dumb dairyair .
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Posts: 526
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If you are right handed, you will tend to chew your food on the right side of your mouth.

If you are left handed, you will tend to chew your food on the left side of your mouth.

To make half a kilo of honey, bees must collect nectar from over 2 million individual flowers

Heroin is the brand name of morphine once marketed by 'Bayer'.


Tourists visiting Iceland should know that tipping at a restaurant is considered an insult!

People in nudist colonies play volleyball more than any other sport.

Albert Einstein was offered the presidency of Israel in 1952, but he declined.

Astronauts can't belch - there is no gravity to separate liquid from gas in their stomachs.

Ancient Roman, Chinese and German societies often used urine as mouthwash.


The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows. In the Renaissance era, it was fashion to shave them off!

Because of the speed at which Earth moves around the Sun, it is impossible for a solar eclipse to last more than 7 minutes and 58 seconds.

The night of January 20 is "Saint Agnes's Eve", which is regarded as a time when a young woman dreams of her future husband.


Google is actually the common name for a number with a million zeros

It takes glass one million years to decompose, which means it never wears out and can be recycled an infinite amount of times!


Gold is the only metal that doesn't rust, even if it's buried in the ground for thousands of years

Your tongue is the only muscle in your body that is attached at only one end

If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. When a human body is dehydrated, its thirst
mechanism shuts off.

Each year 2,000,000 smokers either quit smoking or die of tobacco-related diseases.


Zero is the only number that cannot be represented by Roman numerals

Kites were used in the American Civil War to deliver letters and newspapers.

The song, Auld Lang Syne, is sung at the stroke of midnight in almost every English-speaking country in the world to bring in the new year..


Drinking water after eating reduces the acid in your mouth by 61 percent

Peanut oil is used for cooking in submarines because it doesn't smoke unless it's heated above 450°F


The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear.

Nine out of every 10 living things live in the ocean

The banana cannot reproduce itself. It can be propagated only by the hand of man

Airports at higher altitudes require a longer airstrip due to lower air density

The University of Alaska spans four time zones

The tooth is the only part of the human body that cannot heal itself.

In ancient Greece, tossing an apple to a girl was a traditional proposal of marriage. Catching it meant she accepted.


Warner Communications paid $28 million for the copyright to the song Happy Birthday.

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

A comet's tail always points away from the sun

The Swine Flu vaccine in 1976 caused more death and illness than the disease it was intended to prevent

Caffeine increases the power of aspirin and other painkillers, that is why it is found in some medicines.

The military salute is a motion that evolved from medieval times, when knights in armor raised their visors to reveal their identity.

If you get into the bottom of a well or a tall chimney and look up, you can see stars, even in the middle of the day.

When a person dies, hearing is the last sense to go. The first sense lost is sight

In ancient times strangers shook hands to show that they were unarmed

Strawberries and pineapples are the only fruits whose seeds grow on the outside





Avocados have the highest calories of any fruit at 167 calories per hundred grams


The moon moves about two inches away from the Earth each year

The Earth gets 100 tons heavier every day due to falling space dust

Due to earth's gravity it is impossible for mountains to be higher than 15,000 meters


Mickey Mouse is known as "Topolino" in Italy

Soldiers do not march in step when going across bridges because they could set up a vibration which could be sufficient to knock the bridge down

Everything weighs one percent less at the equator

For every extra kilogram carried on a space flight, 530 kg of excess fuel are needed at lift-off

The letter J does not appear anywhere on the periodic table of the elements.

And last but not least:
In 2011, July has 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays, and 5 Sundays. This apparently happens once every 823 years!



Copper Zinc = Brass, how about no hair ? wink


a lethal combination of smart dairyair and dumb dairyair .
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Posts: 526
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There was a knock on the door this morning. I opened it to find a young man standing there who said:

"Hello sir, I'm a Jehovah's Witness."

I said "Come in and sit down."


I offered him coffee and asked, "What do you want to talk about?"

He said, "Beats the !%@#$%^& out of me, I've never gotten this far before...."


a lethal combination of smart dairyair and dumb dairyair .
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Posts: 2,367
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J
And last but not least:
In 2011, July has 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays, and 5 Sundays. This apparently happens once every 823 years!

Check you calendar. This happens all the time. The calendar repeats itself.

Joined: May 2007
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jhill123 You Checked ??

I wasn't using "U" calender wink , I must of been in a ground-hog loop.

Let's think about this, a year can only start on one of seven days, so there are seven possible basic calendar years. Add leap years, and there are fourteen basic calendars. Now fourteen calendars get cycled through regularly, in fact 2010 uses the exact same calendar as 1999. That's eleven years, not 823.

Two Points jhill123

*******************************************
I dialed a number and got the following recording:

"I am not available right now, but

Thank you for caring enough to call.

I am making some changes in my life.

Please leave a message after the

Beep.. If I do not return your call,

You are one of the changes."

~~~~~

( I LOVE THIS ONE! )

My wife and I had words,

But I didn't get to use mine.

~~~~~

God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.

~~~~~

Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.

He shoots his friend and kills him.

Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends!"

*******************************************

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?

Stress is when wife is pregnant,

Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,

and Panic is when both are pregnant.

****************************************

Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?

Kid: Yes, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad had a heart attack & our driver ran away.

*********************************************************

A women asks man who is traveling with six children, "Are all these kids yours?"

The man replies, "No, I work in a condom factory and these are customer complaints".

*********************************************************

A young boy asks his Dad, "What is the difference between confident and confidential?"

Dad says, "You are my son, I'm confident about that.

Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential."

*********************************************************

Nominated as the best short joke this year...

A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath.

"Mom" he asked, "are these my brains?"

"Not yet," she replied.

Last edited by VT-CDN; 07/12/11 11:04 AM.

a lethal combination of smart dairyair and dumb dairyair .
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