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In the world of hi-tech gadgetry, I've noticed that more and more people who send text messages and emails have long forgotten the art of capitalization.
For those of you who fall into this category, please take note of the following statement.
"Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse."
Hope this helps!

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You Are a sick person and I like it !

The secret of a great marriage is to make sure that you make the time every week to go out for a romantic candlelit meal with soft music, good wine and, of course, good food.

..... I go on Tuesdays; The wife goes on Thursdays!


Got-a Be Clean enough!

A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive. She lived for ten more years, and then dies peacefully. A ceremony is again held at the same place, and at the end of the ceremony the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they are walking, the husband cries out, "Watch the friggin wall!"