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Man in hospital bed wearing oxygen mask over his mouth: "Nurse", he mumbles. "Are my testicles black?"


The Nurse raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other... she takes a close look and says, "there is nothing wrong with them sir"


Man pulls oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly. "thanks for that, it was lovely, but listen very carefully... "Are-my-test-re-sults-back?"

Cleaned

Cleaned

we need to lighten up on the sexual jokes please. this should be more of a "family friendly" board. but too often there are dirty jokes in the mix. please cool it on the sexual stuff.

some of the jokes are funny, but i know that they are VERY offensive to some of my straighter laced friends.

Thank you.

K PG-14
Cleaned as best as edit allows.

My co-worker accidentally drank from my Starbucks cup and said "Your coffee tastes like BEER." Me: Weird huh?

Any Newfees out there?

An American tourist asks a Newfoundlander:
"Why do scuba divers always fall
backwards off their boats?"
To which the Newfoundlander replies:
"Lord thunderin' Jesus,
you must be stunned as me arse.
If they fell forwards, they'd still be in the foookin ...lol boat!"

I'm a Newf

If you don't mind, I've taken the liberty of making the 'accent' a little more authentic...

An American tourist asks a Newfoundlander:
"Why do scuba divers always fall
backwards off their boats?"
To which the Newfoundlander replies:
"Lard tunderin' jazus, b'y
yore as stunned as me arse.
If dey falls for'rds, dey'd still be in de friggen bowat!"

LOL

I was discussing with my friend about the popular trends on sex, marriage and values. He says to me "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you? I replied. "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?"

I now know why adults ask children what they want to be when they grow up... for ideas....