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Adults only : www.funnyordie.com/videos/ff6806e133/new-used

Things to do in the bathroom stall...

1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbour, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."

3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

5. Drop a marble and say, "oh shoot!! My glass eye!!"

6. Say "Darn, this water is cold."

7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place six to eight feet. Sigh relaxingly.

8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"

9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."

10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbours while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!!"

11. Say, "Interesting....more sinkers than floaters.

12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop it under the stall wall of your neighbour. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?"

13. Say. "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!!"

14. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot"

15. Say, "Darn, I Knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"

16. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.

17. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.

18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbour and say, "Peek-a-boo!"

19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free"

20. When you're in a bathroom stall take a Snickers candy bar with you and when someone is next to you, squish it in your hand and reach under the stall wall and say "You got any more toilet paper over there, This side's completely out."

Questions?

If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

If you take a Oriental person and spin him around several times,
does he become disoriented?

Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?

What do chickens think we taste like?

What do people in China call their good plates?

What do you call a male ladybug?

What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald
man?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time
it was to set it to?

Which is the other side of the street?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why don't they call mustaches "mouthbrows?"

> > Q. What's the Cuban National Anthem?

> > A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat.

> > Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?

> > A. A different bar.

> > Q. What did the Chinese couple name their tan, curly-haired baby?

> > A. Sum Ting Wong .

> > Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?

> > A. A speech impediment.

> > Q. Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek ?

> > A. Because they're not going to work in the future either.

> > Q. Why do Driver Ed classes in redneck schools use the car only on

> > Mondays , Wednesdays and Fridays?

> > A. Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

> > Q. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?

> > A. The southern zoo has a description of the animal along with a recipe.

> > Q How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the 'F' word?

> > A. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell, 'BINGO!'

> > Q. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale???

> > A. A northern fairytale begins, ...'Once upon a time...'

> > A southern fairytale begins, ... 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit.'

> > Q.. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?

> > A. Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the
> > United States

Dishwasher Fire Warning

I was watching the U.S. news channel (CBS) tonight and learned that KitchenAid, Whirlpool and Kenmore dishwashers have been catching on fire. Apparently the printed circuit boards catch fire and burn pretty aggressively. They suggested we check our dishwashers carefully to see if your dishwasher might have this problem.

So I checked my dishwasher carefully. Pulled open the drawers, lifted up the top and prodded everywhere to make sure no fire would ensue. Okay, she was screaming the whole time, of course, but she never caught on fire. So I guess I'm safe! Whew! Close call...

The car is 81 years old and she is 101. Love the part when she gets in with the shop rag on the floor board.

http://graphics8.nytimes.com/bcvide...oId=100000000895665&playerType=embed

Good example of a Brain Study:
If you can read this you have a strong mind:
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Childs play

This is a story which is perfectly logical to all males:

A wife asks her husband,
"Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk,
and if they have eggs, get 6."

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.
The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had eggs."