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champion #502208 03/14/15 05:43 AM
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I don't know if HHDL really said that, but it's both inspiring and funny. Thanks for posting!

Diane Campbell #502342 03/17/15 07:00 PM
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,281
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EXERCISE FOR PEOPLE OVER 60

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side.

With a 5-lb. potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.

Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.

After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb. potato bags . Then try 50-lb. potato bags and eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb. potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (I'm at this level).

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag!



"Hold on Tight To Your Dreams" ELO
champion #502347 03/18/15 12:33 AM
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,972
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Is that a dis on Idaho AZ? smile


Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol
champion #502374 03/18/15 08:07 AM
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,281
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Cause all those "eyes" are always watching me!!!!! grin


"Hold on Tight To Your Dreams" ELO
champion #502529 03/21/15 09:21 PM
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 5,563
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An old nun who was living in a convent next to a construction
site noticed the coarse language of the workers and decided to spend
some time with them to correct their ways.
And so she decided she would take her lunch and sit with the workers.
She put her sandwich in a brown bag and walked to the spot where the
men were eating.
Sporting a big smile, she walked up to the group and asked: "And do you
men know Jesus Christ?"
They shook their heads and looked at each other very confused.
One of the workers looked up into the steelworks and yelled out,
"Anybody up there know Jesus Christ?"
One of the steelworkers yelled down. "Why?"
The worker yelled back,
"Cause his mom's here with his lunch."


Harriette
Take only pictures leave only bubbles
ScubaLdy #502542 03/22/15 07:37 AM
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,000
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R
Very good Harriette and on a Sunday morning. Perfect timing. smile


Jim
Formerly from somewhere on a beach in Belize
champion #502589 03/23/15 03:37 PM
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,972
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After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in his seat and closed his eyes. As the train rolled out of the station, the young woman sitting next to him pulled out her cell phone and started talking in a loud voice: "Hi sweetheart. It's Sue. I'm on the train." "Yes, I know it's the six thirty, and not the four thirty, but I had a long meeting." "No, honey, not with that Kevin from the accounting office. It was with the boss." "No sweetheart, you're the only one in my life." "Yes, I'm sure, cross my heart!"

Fifteen minutes later, she was still talking loudly. When the man sitting next to her had enough, he leaned over and said into the phone, "Sue, hang up the phone and come back to bed."

Sue doesn't use her cell phone in public any longer.


Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol
champion #502806 03/30/15 02:05 PM
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,972
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Bill Clinton and the Hooker


Bill Clinton started jogging near his home in Chappaqua.
But on each run he happened to jog past a hooker standing on
the same street corner, day after day.

With some apprehension he would brace himself as he
approached her for what was most certainly to follow.
"Fifty dollars!" she would cry out from the curb.
"No, Five dollars!" fired back Clinton This ritual between
Bill and the hooker continued for days.
He'd run by and she'd yell, "Fifty dollars!" And he'd yell back,
"Five dollars!"

One day however, Hillary decided that she wanted to
accompany her husband on his jog!

As the jogging couple neared the problematic street corner,
Bill realized the "pro" would bark her $50 offer and Hillary would
wonder what he'd really been doing on all his past outings.
He realized he should have a darn good explanation for the
former Secretary of State. As they jogged into the turn that would
take them past the corner, Bill became even more apprehensive than usual.
Sure enough, there was the hooker! Bill tried to avoid the prostitute's eyes
as she watched the pair jog past.

Then, from the sidewalk, the hooker yelled... "See what you get for five bucks!?"


Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol
champion #503131 04/08/15 01:10 PM
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,972
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A fact you won't soon forget... Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.

A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts.

However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.

MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.

He very quickly concluded the cause: When crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger.


They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout truck."




Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol
champion #503132 04/08/15 01:32 PM
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 1,925
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HA!


Reality..What a concept!
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