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A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by an Irish cop. He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he's a lawyer from LONDON and is certain that he has a better education then any Irish cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Irish cop's expense!
Irish cop says,"License and registration, please." ​

Lo​ndon Lawyer says, "What for?"

Irish cop says,"Ye didnae come to a complete stop at the stop sign."

London Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."

Irish cop says,"Ye still didnae come to a complete stop. License and registration, please"

London Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"

Irish cop says, "The difference is, ye huvte come to a complete stop,​ that's the law. License and registration, please!"

London Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."

Irish cop says, "Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir." ​The London Lawyer exits his vehicle.

The Irish cop takes out his baton and starts beating on the lawyer and says, "Daeye want me to stop, or just slow down?

Q. What geometric shape most resembles a lost parrot?

A. A Polly-gone

Everyone back to your desks...

A couple of officers stopped at Sandy Bay First Nation and talked to an old Indian standing on the road.
He told the old Indian, "I need to inspect this land for illegally grown drugs."
The elder reluctantly said, "okay, but don't go into that field over there...", as he pointed with his lips to the location.
The officer verbally exploded & said, "look mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me!"
Reaching into his rear back pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge & proudly displayed it to the old Indian.
"See this fxxxxxg badge?! This badge means I can go wherever I want, whenever I want................on any land! No questions asked, no answers given! Do you understand old man?"
The elder nodded kindly, apologized & went about his business. Moments later he heard loud - fearful screams; he looked up & saw the officer running for his life, being chased by a Bull Bison. With every step the Bull Bison was gaining ground on the officer & it was likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified.
The old Indian threw down his tools & ran as fast as he could to the fence & yelled at the top of his lungs......"YOUR BADGE! SHOW HIM YOUR BADGE!

Thats funny, but you've made the bison into a bad guy.

I received this via email from a good friend of mine!

Dead Crows


Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts.



However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying types and colors of paints appeared on the birds' beaks and claws. Analyzing these paint residues determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.


MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills. He very quickly concluded the cause. When crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger. The Ornithological Behaviorist discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah," not a single one could shout "Truck."


Kinda makes you wonder why you gave me your email address, doesn't it?

Good one - I think you should dedicate this one to Ragman. lol

Hey, I hope you are not bullying me Harriette? I'll have you know that the Massachusetts Legislature ratified everything in John Adams' 1780 Massachusetts Constitution "except the letter 'R'". The proof of this is the fact that there are very few legislators with an R after their name. And of course I knew immediately what the crows were talking about. LOL

ps There was a pretty well known poster from Boston who lived in San Pedro. He died a few years ago but when he was alive and visited "Up North" I would get a call to come down to the bar to interpret for everyone.

lol