For my friends on the chat

> When you are sad,.............
> I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the scum
> sucking bastard who made you sad.
>
> When you are blue,..........
> I'll try to dislodge whatever's choking you.
>
> When you smile,............
> I'll know you finally got laid.
>
> When you are scared,.........
> I will rag you about it every chance I get.
>
> When you are worried,.........
> I will tell you horrible stories about how much
> worse it could be and to quit whining.
>
> When you are confused,........
> I will use little words to explain it to your dumb ass.
>
> When you are sick.........
> Stay away from me until you're well again,
> I don't want whatever you have.
>
> When you fall......
> I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
>
> This is my oath...............
> I pledge till the end.
>
> Why you may ask?........
> Because you're my friend.

There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.