pug -- are you sure you and LA aren't an item on the side? At times, there's little difference between your correspondence and my interaction with Mrs. O.
Otter, I have sat with you 2 nights in a row at dinner while Mary and the boys texted or phoned you every 5 minutes and you replied "yes dear" between telling Jane and I stories about them and showing us photos!
I do not think I've met anyone who seems more devoted to his family than you....
If you talk back, it must be in private!