HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM IN THE SOUTH
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>> 1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work
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>> boots.
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>> 2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo
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>> magazine
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>> and your NRA magazines.
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>> 3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.
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>> 4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
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>> Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went for more ammunition. Back in an
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>> hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked the mailman this
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>> morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it
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>> but
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>> it was hard to tell from all the blood.
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>> Anyways, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside
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