Don't you just love relationships...

She-"Honey, do these shoes match this dress"?
He-"Sweetheart, I own a pair of sneakers, two pair of flip flops and a pair of work boots...why are you asking me"?

She-"Honey, should I bring the brown leather purse or my grey Louis Vitton knock off I got at the outlet when we were driving to "Vegas 3 years ago when you ordered the chili dog at the stand from that guy while I was in the Guess store getting my mom a dress for my sister's brother in laws wedding we went to on United Airlines on your air miles when you bought that drill table thingy for the garage on our VISA card that I didn't think was a good idea until I found out we got a free ticket to Cleveland?
He-"What???"
She-"See, you never listen to me or care what I wear!"
He-"I like the the brown shoes".
She-"I was talking about purses! The brown one or the grey one"?
He-"I don't know...can't you e-mail Harry Blackstone, the magician guy that makes the best and worst dressed list and ask HIM!"

She-"Does this dress make my butt look big"?
He-"Your butt looks great honey!"
She-"So you think it does make my butt look big, don't you"!!
He-"Honey, your butt is so small it makes Olive Oil's look like Oprah's"!
She-"You're sleeping on the couch tonight, funny man"!

She-"We need to talk".
He-'What did I do NOW!"

She-"Did you get the kids some lunch while I was gone"?
He-"I think they were still full from the Captain Crunch they ate for breakfast".

She-"My mom is coming over for dinner on Sunday".
He-"Why..I mean why don't I get some steaks to BBQ."