DICTIONARY FOR WOMENS PERSONAL ADS:

40 ish = 49
Adventurous = Slept with everyone
Athletic = No T*ts
Average Looking = Ugly
Contagious Smile = Does a lot of Pills
Beautiful = Pathological Liar
Emotionally Secure = On Medication
Feminist = Fat
Free Spirit = Junkie
Friendship First = Formerly Adventurous
Fun = Annoying
New Age = Unshaven
Open Minded = Desperate
Outgoing = Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate = Sloppy Drunk
Voluptuous = Fat
Large Frame = Very Fat
Wants Soul Mate = Stalker

DICTIONARY FOR MENS PERSONAL ADS

Horny guys seeks woman = Horny guy seeks woman

WOMENS ENGLISH

Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
We Need = I Want
I Am Sorry = You'll Be Sorry
We Need To Talk = You Are In Trouble
Sure, Go Ahead = No Sex This Week
Do What You Want = No Sex This Month
No I'm Not Upset = Of Course I'm Upset You Moron
You're Very Attentive Tonight = Is Sex All You Think About?

MENS ENGLISH

I'm Hungry = I'm Hungry
I'm Thirsty = I'm Thirsty
I'm Tired = I'm Tired
Nice Dress = Nice Cleavage
I Love You = Lets Have Sex
I'm Bored = Lets Have Sex
May I Have This Dance = I'd Like to have Sex With You Later
Can I Call You Sometime = Then We Can Have Sex
Do You Want To Go To A Movie = I Can't Dance, But......
Can I Take You To Dinner? = I'm Hungry, but afterwards....
Those Shoes Don't Go With That Dress = Did I Tell You I'm Gay?


AND FINNALY:

Recent studies have shown that women respond to differing male appearances depending on which stage of their menstrual cycle they are on.

When a woman is ovulating she will tend to find a man with rugged features attractive, while when she's menstruating, there is a tendency to prefer men with a pair of scissors stuck in their eye, a baseball bat up their ass then doused in gasoline & set on fire

It's rarely rocket science, it's usually just math: then again if you can't do the math.......