*Retire to Alaska*

*Jim, tired of the stress, quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in
Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week
and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet,
just how he likes it.*

*After several months of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his
door. He opens it and a huge, bearded man is standing there.*

*"Name's Cliff, your neighbor from forty miles up the road," the man
says. "Havin' a Christmas party Friday night. Thought you might like to
come by at about 5:00."*

*"Great!" says Jim. "After all these months out here, I'm ready to meet
some local folks. Thank you."*

*"Gotta warn you," Cliff says. "Be some drinkin'."*

*"Not a problem," says Jim. "I can drink with the best of 'em."*

*The big man continues, "More 'n' likely gonna be some fightin' too."*

*"Well, I get along with people, I'll be all right! I'll be there," Jim
assures. "Thanks again."*

*"More'n likely be some wild sex, too," Cliff points out.*

*"Not a problem." says Jim, warming to the idea. "I've been all alone
for six months. I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?"*

*"Don't much matter," Cliff answers. "Just gonna be the two of us."*
=