Have you ever wondered what the difference is between Grandmothers and Grandfathers? Well, here it is:

There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to

spend time with his son's family on weekends. Every Saturday morning

he would take his 5-year-old granddaughter out for a drive in the car

for some quality time -- pancakes, ice cream, candy-- just him and his granddaughter.

One particular Saturday, however, he had a terrible cold and could not

get out of bed. He knew his granddaughter always looked forward to

their drives and would be very disappointed. Luckily, his wife came to

the rescue and said that she would take their granddaughter for her weekly drive and breakfast.

When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see her

grandfather who was still in bed. "Well, did you enjoy your ride with grandma?" he asked.

No, it was really boring. We didn't see a single asshole, queer,

piece of shit, horse's ass, socialist left wing Obama lover, blind

bastard, dipshit, or Muslim camel humping son of a bitch anywhere

we went!"

We just drove around and Grandma smiled at everyone she saw. It wasn't any fun at all.


Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol