Weight Loss
A guy calls a company and orders their
5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program . The next day, there's a knock on the
door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19
year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running
shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative
of the weight loss company.
The sign reads, 'If you can catch me,
you can have me.'
Without a second thought, he takes off
after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, he
finally gives up.

The same girl shows up for the next four
days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs
himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as
promised.
He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.

The next day there's a knock at the
door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy
woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing
but Reebok running shoes and a sig n around her neck that
reads, 'If you catch me you can have me'.

Well, he's out the door after her like
a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his
best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same
routine happens with him gradually getting in better and
better shape.

Much to his delight on the fifth day when
he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20
lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the
company to order the 7-day/50 pound program
'Are you sure?' asks the
representative on the phone. 'This is our most rigorous program.'

'Absolutely,' he replies, 'I
haven't felt this good in years.'
The next day there's a knock at the
door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy
standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a
sign around his neck that reads, 'If I catch you, your
ass is mine.'

He lost 63 lbs that week.

Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol