FRED'S FUNERAL

Fred works hard at the office but spends two nights each week
bowling, and plays golf every Saturday.

His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday
she takes him to a local strip club. The doorman at the club greets
them and says, "Hey, Fred! How ya doin'?"

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.

"Oh no," says Fred. "He's in my bowling league."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Fred if he'd like his usual and
brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable
and says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"

"I recognize her; she's the waitress from the golf club. I always
have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey."

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around
Fred, starts to rub herself all over him and says, "Hi Freddie. Want
your usual table dance, big boy?"

Fred's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Fred follows and spots her getting into a taxi. Before she can slam the
door, he jumps in beside her.

Fred tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken
him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at
him at the top of her lungs, calling him every four-letter word in the book.
The cabby turns around and says, "Geez, Fred, you picked up a real witch
this time."




Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol