I went into the confessional box after years of being away from
the Church.

Inside I found a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap.

On one wall, there's a row of decanters with fine Irish whiskey
and Waterford crystal glasses.

On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and
chocolates.

Then the priest comes in. I say to him, "Father, forgive me, for
it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I
must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting
than it used to be."

He replies: " Get out, you moron, you're on my side. "

Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol