> > Subject:
> > New Plan to be Implemented by our Government . . . .
> > .
> >
> > Due to the
> >
> > current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the
> > economy, Congress has
> >
> > decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of
> > age and above on
> >
> > early retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing
> > unemployment.
> >
> >
> >
> > This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People
> > Early).
> >
> >
> >
> > Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be
> > considered for the
> >
> > SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).
> >
> >
> >
> > Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed
> > under the SCREW
> >
> > program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).
> >
> >
> >
> > A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as
> > many times as Congress
> >
> > deems appropriate.
> >
> >
> >
> > Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional
> > Income for Dependants
> >
> > & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired
> > Personnel Early Severance).
> >
> >
> >
> > Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be
> > SHAFTED or SCREWED any
> >
> > further by Congress.
> >
> >
> >
> > Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive
> > as much SHIT (Special
> >
> > High Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always
> > prided themselves on
> >
> > the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.
> >
> >
> >
> > Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please
> > bring this to the
> >
> > attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give
> > you all the SHIT
> >
> > you can handle.
> >
> >
> >
> > Sincerely,
> >
> >
> > The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives
> > (E.V.I.L.)
> >
> >
> >
> > PS - - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of
> > electricity, gas and
> >
> > oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the
> > End of the Tunnel
> >
> > has been turned off.

Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol