Challenged Senior...(sound familiar ??)
I ran a business with 1,800 employees, all without a Blackberry that
played music, took videos, pictures and communicated with Facebook
and Twitter. But....
I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids,
their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great grand kids could communicate
with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple
as Twitter with only 140 characters of space..
That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree,
Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and
something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program
within the texting world.
My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything
except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready
to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.
The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost
every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in
a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed
to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at the mall talking
to my wife as everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. Seems I have
to take my hearing aid out to use it and I got a little loud.
I mean, the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside was
the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes,
she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-ul-ating" You would think that she could
be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep
sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then when I would make
a right turn instead, it was not good.
When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets
and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GSP lady, at least
she loves me.
To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in
our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I can
lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions
and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.
The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I
go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves,
but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop.
I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused but I never
remember to take them in with me.
Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I just say,
"Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with
a blank look.
AmbergrisCaye.com 
