IF REAL LIFE WERE JUST LIKE THE MOVIES:
-It is always possible to park directly outside the entrance of any building you are visiting.
-A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
-If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you pass will join in and know all the steps.
-Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
-It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
-When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
-No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
-Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
-When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
-You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
-Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
-Every bag of groceries will contain one French stick.
-All hotel rooms and apartments in Paris have full, unobstructed views of the Eiffel Tower.
-If you are in a restaurant or office that contains a huge plateglass window, someone will get thrown through it.
-All phone numbers in the US have the prefix "555."
-When trying to find something in Yellow Pages, all you ever have to do is open the book and flip one page.
-If you or a family member is ill, the doctor you call will personally answer the telephone and come right away to your house because you asked him/her to do so.
-If there is a bake sale or a dessert table displaying a long line of cream pies, every person in the vicinity will wind up with at least one of them in their face.
-An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur, will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.
-Television and/or radio news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television/radio on.
-The very person you were talking about at that moment will always bump into you at that moment (or call you, or pay you a visit).
-When you're upset or depressed and go off to some solitary place to brood, a caring friend will always find you no matter what, stating, "I thought I'd find you here."
-There is at least one nun on board every airline flight.
AmbergrisCaye.com 
