After reading this it is all coming back why we came here ha ha.
NEW OFFICE POLICY
Dress Code:
1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your
salary.
2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag,
we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need
a raise.
3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of
sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to
work.
Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are
called Saturdays & Sundays.
Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you! can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is
now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders' category.
AmbergrisCaye.com 
